How to Handle an Emotional (Amygdala) Hijack

We experience many stressors in our daily lives: being cut off in traffic, being put on the spot in a meeting, conflict with a co-worker, etc. that trigger the fight or flight response (amygdala hijack) because they are perceived threats. Our minds can’t tell the difference between real and perceived threats. So even though we won’t be harmed by being put on the spot in a meeting, our minds think we will be. Then we either lash out and defend ourselves or shut down and try to escape the situation.

Years ago, I incorrectly learned that during the fight or flight response, the amygdala (emotional memory) takes over and the neo cortex (logical thinking) can’t function for a full 18 minutes. This is a myth according to Ann Betz’s Neuroscience of Coaching program. Instead, what really happens is that some parts of the brain (amygdala) get really loud and drown out other areas of the brain (neo cortex), but they are still there and still accessible. It’s like an orchestra, and we can tune our attention to other parts of our brain that are not as loud. We still have power and choice, even during the most stressful situations. When we use all parts of our brain, we are more creative and productive and better able to problem solve.

Below are some techniques for tuning in to the logical parts of your brain during an emotional (amygdala) hijack.

• Take some deep breaths. Oxygenating the brain helps offset the stress response and lowers your heart rate and blood pressure. Square breathing is a technique you can use anytime without anyone knowing you are doing it. You simply breathe in for 4 counts. Hold it for 4 counts. Breathe out for 4 counts. Then hold it for 4 counts and repeat a few times until you notice your heart rate lower. This will quiet down the amygdala so you can access the logical parts of your brain.
• Disengage if needed. Take a break if you can. You can say, “I need a break. I can’t talk about this right now because I’m just defending myself.” Have the conversation later when emotions have cooled down.
• Name the emotion. Just being able to name your emotion or current perspective can help with emotional regulation and reduce your stress. It’s also essential for self-awareness, which is the most fundamental component of emotional intelligence. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling? What is making me feel this way?”
• Reframe your situation. Reframing is one of the best resiliency skills. Shifting how you look at something requires new neuro-firing and can activate different parts of the brain. It lowers cortisol and gives you more whole brain thinking about an issue or stressor. Amygdala activity drops during reframing, and this has a profound effect on reducing stress. Ask yourself, “What’s another way to look at this?”

Below are more questions to ask yourself to engage the logical part of your brain when triggered or hijacked.

• What is making me so upset? 
• How much energy do I want to give to this? 
• What would be a better use of my energy? 
• Is this something I can control or do anything about? 
• What are my options?
• What do I want to do about this?

These questions will help you choose your response intentionally rather than automatically responding out of habit (fight or flight). Being able to recover from a hijack and manage your response to stress (self-management) are essential components of emotional intelligence. My next newsletter will focus on another essential element of emotional intelligence: empathy.

“The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.” – Daniel Goleman

 “It’s not about managing your emotions. It’s about managing your reaction to your emotions.” – Yung Pueblo

 “Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.” – Travis Bradberry